Toronto – Page 110 – Michael Eats

Shockingly Terrible Ice Cream from Kiss the Tiramisu

Published on June 16, 2018 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 160 Baldwin Street, Toronto
Website: http://www.kissthetiramisu.net/

I don’t want to be too hyperbolic, but I think the sundae at Kiss the Tiramisu in Kensington Market might be the worst thing I’ve ever been served in a restaurant. Certainly, it’s right down there.

To be fair, they were clearly having issues. Shortly after I ordered, the woman behind the counter attempted to dispense ice cream from the machine; pure liquid came out. She looked shifty and then told me I’d have to wait five minutes.

A smarter man would have asked for his money back and left. Clearly, I am not a smart man.

The ice cream is layered with coffee, some kind of white sauce (mascarpone?), and a whole bunch of cocoa powder. It’s absolutely terrible.

I’m really not sure what that vile, sludgy glop was, but it certainly wasn’t ice cream. That’s not even a joke: it was thin and lacking anything even remotely resembling creaminess. I’m almost certain it didn’t have the proportion of milk fat that is legally required for something to be called ice cream. It was also grainy and icy, so it was pretty much the worst.

The flavour was no better; I find a lot of ice creams are a little bit too sweet for my taste. I had the opposite problem here. This was bland and horrible, with a vague milkiness and and unpleasantly watered-down bitter coffee flavour that was downright repulsive. There was also an insane amount of cocoa mounded onto this thing, which just made it impossible to eat without getting powder all over the place.

Despite spending well over seven bucks (!), I couldn’t bring myself to finish it. It was so bad.

Seriously: I take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about Sweet Jesus. I certainly have issues with the place, but at least what they’re serving is actual ice cream that isn’t gross.

Egg BLT Bagel at McDonald’s

Published on June 15, 2018 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 4333 Bloor Street West, Etobicoke
Website: https://www.mcdonalds.ca

I like McDonald’s. The place tends to get a bad rap, but if you’re craving something junky and quick, it (usually) hits the spot. I’m sure a childhood’s worth of nostalgia helps, but there’s always going to be a place in my life for the occasional visit to the Golden Arches.

That being said, the Egg BLT Bagel was super duper gross and you should absolutely never eat it.

I got it on a plain bagel, which was overly sweet and substantial. The egg was dry and overcooked, the bacon was paper-thin and soggy, the lettuce was so stingy that it may as well not have even been there, and the mayo overload meant it was impossible to eat without making a greasy mess. There just wasn’t a whole lot of flavour here, other than the sweetness from the bagel.

The tomato was okay, though, so… hooray for that, I guess?

Fried Chicken Wing Perfection at Chica’s Chicken

Published on June 14, 2018 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 2853 Dundas Street West, Toronto
Website: https://www.facebook.com/chicaschicken/

Well, I’ve now tried everything on the menu at Chica’s Chicken, which means I can say the following with a reasonable amount of authority: it’s the best. The literal best.

I honestly can’t recall having better fried chicken anywhere in the city. It’s everything you’re looking for: it’s got that amazing crispy crunch, it’s so damn tasty, and the chicken itself is ridiculously moist. Perfection.

I got the wings this time; an order comes with four giant wings, and it’s an absurd amount of food. They don’t cut the wings into segments like most places — it feels like a pain at first, but it gives you more of that crispy, crunchy skin.

You also get a side, and two slices of plain white bread. For 16 bucks, it’s a absolute steal considering the quantity and quality of the food.

Sorry, every other chicken wing I’ve ever had: you’re absolute garbage compared to what Chica’s is serving.

I got it hot AF; as on my previous visits, they aren’t kidding around with the heat. It hurts so good.

I think I’m ready to install a cot in the back of the restaurant so that I can eat all my meals here. Will I die of a massive heart attack by my 40th birthday? Probably. Will it be worth it? Absolutely.

Rudy: Still Great

Published on June 13, 2018 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 619 College Street, Toronto
Website: http://rudyresto.com/

I recently named Rudy the best burger in Toronto. So from now on, I’m always going to be afraid that, one day, they’ll lower the quality of their hamburgers and make me look like an idiot.

That day may come. It hasn’t yet.

I just went back, and I can confirm that it’s as great as ever. The burger is still juicy, beefy, and amazing. And that crust from the griddle? Bonkers. Absolutely bonkers.

I mean, look at that. It’s perfect.

Along with the burger and fries, I tried the deep-fried pickle chips, and they were pretty great too — particularly when you dip them in the tasty ranch sauce that comes on the side.

Fried pickles is one of those things that sounds weird until you try it, and you realize that it’s actually amazing. I wish the batter here was a little less chewy and a bit more crunchy, but aside from that they were tasty and addictive.

Gross Meatballs and Tasty Dessert at Ikea

Published on June 12, 2018 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 1475 The Queensway, Etobicoke
Website: https://www.ikea.com/

Hot tip: Ikea serves chicken meatballs now, and you should absolutely, positively never order them. You’re welcome.

They’re actually quite similar to the standard beef meatballs, which are junk — but tasty junk. I wouldn’t want to eat them on a regular basis, but they’re not bad for what they are.

The chicken meatballs, on the other hand, are not tasty junk. The flavour is basically fine; they taste a lot like the beef meatballs, but saltier and with a vague chicken-like flavour.

But the texture is horrific. Remember those rubber Super Balls that would bounce and bounce and bounce? I’m pretty sure these meatballs have most of the same properties. They were so rubbery and horrible that I couldn’t even cut through them with a fork.

On the plus side, I also had a slice of the chocolate caramel cake, and it’s surprisingly great. It’s certainly not gourmet — it actually reminds me a lot of the brownies they used to serve in my high school’s cafeteria, but with the addition of caramel — but it’s rich and sweet and satisfying. I think the next time I find myself in Ikea, I might just skip straight to the dessert.