Mind-Blowing Dessert at Millie Patisserie

Millie PatisserieLocation: 12 Oxley Street, Toronto
Websitehttp://milliedesserts.com/

I just had a slice of the mille crepe cake from Millie Patisserie, and it was so incredibly delicious that I’m pretty sure I can never eat dessert again.  I mean, what’s the point?  It’s all garbage to me now.  Mille crepe cake 4 eva.

In case you’re not familiar with a mille crepe cake, it’s a magical creation in which crepes and custardy cream are layered on top of each other until you wind up with something that looks like a cake.

Millie Patisserie

The version they’re serving at Millie Patisserie is next level.  It’s insanely good.

On this particular visit, they had four varieties: vanilla bean, tiramisu, earl gray, and matcha.  I went with vanilla bean, and holy crap it was amazing.

The custard between the crepe layers was crazy delicious.  It was rich and creamy, with an intense custardy flavour and the perfect amount of vanilla.  Just give me a spoon and a bucket of this stuff and I’ll eat it until I literally explode.

Millie Patisserie

The tender crepes are just as good, with a very light chewiness that compliments the custard perfectly.  The proportion of both is just right; it’s the perfect balance of creaminess and substance and amazingness.  It was easily one of the best desserts I’ve had in ages.

It’s not cheap, however.  One slice comes up to a bit over ten bucks with tax, which is so much that I almost left the store without ordering anything.  But man, it is absolutely, positively worth it.  Aside from the fact that it’s ridiculously delicious, the quality of ingredients they’re working with is obviously high, and I have to imagine that making one of these things is quite labour intensive.  There are so many layers and they’re all so perfect.

Terrible Ice Cream at Baskin Robbins

Baskin RobbinsLocation: 855 The Queensway, Etobicoke
Websitehttp://www.baskinrobbins.ca/

This probably won’t come as much of a surprise: it turns out that the ice cream at Baskin Robbins isn’t very good.  I haven’t been there in several years, but I remember it being decent enough.

Either I’ve become pickier in the meantime, or it’s become worse.  Probably a bit of both.

I tried the current flavour of the month, Cookies ‘n Cake: “Cake flavored ice cream, cookie pieces, and a chocolate cake batter flavored ribbon.”

Baskin Robbins

The quality of the ice cream itself was pretty bad; it was slightly better than really bottom-of-the-barrel stuff like Chapman’s, but that’s really not saying much.  The texture was thin and unsatisfying.

The flavour was even worse.  I’ve eaten a lot of cake in my lifetime, and none of it even remotely tasted like the ice cream here.  I’m normally fine with artificial, cake-flavoured junk food, but this stuff was just vile.  I’m having a hard time even figuring out how to describe the flavour — it was acrid and unpleasant and weird.

The cookie chunks were good, at least — they were Oreo pieces, so no surprise there.  But the “chocolate cake batter flavored ribbon” basically just tasted like a sweeter, less chocolatey version of Nesquik chocoalte syrup.  It wasn’t offensive like the ice cream, but it wasn’t particularly good, either.

Gross Meatballs and Tasty Dessert at Ikea

IkeaLocation: 1475 The Queensway, Etobicoke
Websitehttps://www.ikea.com/

Hot tip: Ikea serves chicken meatballs now, and you should absolutely, positively never order them.  You’re welcome.

They’re actually quite similar to the standard beef meatballs, which are junk — but tasty junk.  I wouldn’t want to eat them on a regular basis, but they’re not bad for what they are.

The chicken meatballs, on the other hand, are not tasty junk.  The flavour is basically fine; they taste a lot like the beef meatballs, but saltier and with a vague chicken-like flavour.

But the texture is horrific.  Remember those rubber Super Balls that would bounce and bounce and bounce?  I’m pretty sure these meatballs have most of the same properties.  They were so rubbery and horrible that I couldn’t even cut through them with a fork.

Ikea

On the plus side, I also had a slice of the chocolate caramel cake, and it’s surprisingly great.  It’s certainly not gourmet — it actually reminds me a lot of the brownies they used to serve in my high school’s cafeteria, but with the addition of caramel — but it’s rich and sweet and satisfying.  I think the next time I find myself in Ikea, I might just skip straight to the dessert.