Yes, I’m reviewing movie theatre nachos. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?
I actually used to really like the nachos at Cineplex! They’re junk, but tasty junk. Or at least, they were.
I haven’t had them in ages, but I feel like they used to be way better. Maybe I’m crazy.
The nacho cheese sauce used to be salty goo that had almost no resemblance to anything even close to real cheese — and yet there was something oddly satisfying about it.
I’ll admit that it’s quite possible I’m just getting snobbier, but the nachos lacked the junky joys of their previous self.
It probably doesn’t help that the cheese comes in pre-filled containers that are too small to dip chips into.
Seriously, who designed this?? Why not make the cups slightly shorter and wider? It’s a definite “you had one job” situation.
Even outside of the hilariously ill-conceived containers, the cheese itself seemed less salty, and like it was actually trying to resemble real cheese. But it did this extremely poorly, so you wind up with something with a neither-here-nor-there flavour that’s bland and unsatisfying.
The chips themselves are exactly as I remember them, at least. They’re not great (and they always taste vaguely stale), but they’re crunchy and satisfying.
The jalapenos are the clear highlight. I love pickled jalapenos, but when you buy them at the supermarket, they’re inevitably mushy, with a disappointingly mild level of spice. These ones have a great crunch and a decent amount of heat. They take something that would otherwise be mostly inedible and make it tolerable.