Fast Food Review – Page 17

Gross Meatballs and Tasty Dessert at Ikea

Published on June 12, 2018 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 1475 The Queensway, Etobicoke
Website: https://www.ikea.com/

Hot tip: Ikea serves chicken meatballs now, and you should absolutely, positively never order them. You’re welcome.

They’re actually quite similar to the standard beef meatballs, which are junk — but tasty junk. I wouldn’t want to eat them on a regular basis, but they’re not bad for what they are.

The chicken meatballs, on the other hand, are not tasty junk. The flavour is basically fine; they taste a lot like the beef meatballs, but saltier and with a vague chicken-like flavour.

But the texture is horrific. Remember those rubber Super Balls that would bounce and bounce and bounce? I’m pretty sure these meatballs have most of the same properties. They were so rubbery and horrible that I couldn’t even cut through them with a fork.

On the plus side, I also had a slice of the chocolate caramel cake, and it’s surprisingly great. It’s certainly not gourmet — it actually reminds me a lot of the brownies they used to serve in my high school’s cafeteria, but with the addition of caramel — but it’s rich and sweet and satisfying. I think the next time I find myself in Ikea, I might just skip straight to the dessert.

Mediocre Pizza at Papa John’s

Published on May 17, 2018 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 1706 Dundas Street East, Mississauga
Website: http://www.papajohns.ca/

Papa John’s seems to be slowly but surely expanding around Toronto; I guess they must be doing okay, because they opened their first location a few years ago, and they’re still opening new ones.

I have fond memories of eating Papa John’s during my childhood trips to Florida, so I guess there’s always going to be a nostalgia-fueled spot in my heart for the place. Because the pizza from Papa John’s was pretty bad, but I still kind of enjoyed it.

The crust is tasteless and vaguely gummy, the cheese is rubbery, and the toppings are mostly what you’d expect (except for the sausage — I can’t even sugar-coat that one, the sausage is flat-out gross). But there’s still something inexplicably appealing about it. It’s junk, and yet you find yourself compelled to take another slice.

There’s that old saying about how even when pizza is bad, it’s still pretty good. That’s Papa John’s in a nutshell: it’s bad, but… it’s also kinda good?

This definitely also applies to the dipping sauce, which is basically just a tiny tub of garlic-powder-flavoured grease. I enjoyed it in the same way that I enjoyed the pizza: with a furrowed brow and a not-insubstantial hit to my self-respect.

McFlurry Deliciousness at McDonald’s

Published on May 5, 2018May 5, 2018 by Michael Nusair2 Comments

Location: 6170 Bathurst Street, Toronto
Website: https://www.mcdonalds.ca/

Generally speaking, I think McFlurries are a waste of time. I mean, they’re just a poor man’s Blizzard, right? If I’m craving a blended ice cream treat, why get an imitation when I can have the original?

It turns out I might be wrong about this, because I just had the Butterscotch Blondie McFlurry, and it was easily better than any Blizzard I’ve had in recent memory.

It had a really rich caramel flavour from the abundant butterscotch, and the sizable blondie chunks were chewy, tasty, and satisfying. It’s super sweet, obviously, but there was enough going on here that it didn’t feel one-note.

The ice cream was a little too melty, but aside from that? Shockingly good.

Waffle Double Down at KFC

Published on March 28, 2018April 12, 2018 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

As ridiculous as the Waffle Double Down looks (and yeah, it is ridiculous), it’s basically just an oddball presentation of chicken and waffles. And everybody loves chicken and waffles. So it follows that this thing must be pretty good too, right?

Right?

Well… it’s not awful, I’ll give it that.

The Waffle Double Down is actually pretty simple: it’s two fried chicken patties encasing a Belgian waffle with maple aioli.

I sort of figured that the aioli would be subtly sweet, but I think it might actually be sweeter than just plain maple syrup. As soon as I unwrapped the sandwich (assuming that this thing even qualifies as a sandwich, which is questionable), the maple aroma hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.

And that was one of the main issues: the sandwich is way, way too sweet. I like the combo of sweet and salty, and I quite like chicken and waffles, but this is leaning way too hard in the direction of in-your-face sweetness. It’s almost dessert.

The other issue is the chicken itself. You can get it regular or spicy; I went with spicy, because if someone asks you if you want something spicy, the correct answer is always yes. And it’s not bad — the exterior was crispy and tasty, with a decent kick. But the chicken was overcooked and dry, and since there’s so much of it, that’s an issue. I had to constantly chug water between bites just to keep my mouth from completely drying out.

The waffle was exactly what you’d think it would be. If you’ve ever had prepackaged Belgian waffles, then you know what you’re getting. It’s fine.

I actually wish that they’d drop the gimmick and just make this a regular waffle sandwich. Because as it is, there’s an absurd amount dry chicken and not enough waffle. The proportion is off. It doesn’t taste right.

Oh, and this thing cost about $10.50 with tax, which is crazypants. It is absolutely not worth that much money.

Smoky Mushroom Bacon Cheeseburger at Wendy’s

Published on March 24, 2018 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Wendy’s is probably my favourite fast food burger joint (it’s neck-and-neck with A&W). But of course, being the best fast food burger chain isn’t exactly a tall mountain to climb. That’s why I was so shocked at how much I enjoyed the Smoky Mushroom Bacon Cheeseburger at Wendy’s.

It’s topped with mushrooms, bacon, aioli, fried onion tanglers, and Asiago cheese. It’s easily the best fast food hamburger I’ve had in a long, long time.

It’s still a fast food burger, so the patty itself wasn’t particularly great — but it wasn’t too dry and it didn’t have any off flavours. For a big fast food chain, that’s about as good as it gets.

Burgers from a place like this tend to be more about the toppings than the burger itself, and that’s where this one really stood out. The Gouda was pleasantly sharp and creamy, the aioli was tasty, and the bacon was substantial enough to not get lost among the other flavours.

I’m normally not a huge fan of mushrooms on a burger, but these were well cooked and suited the burger well. But what really put this over the top were the fried onion tanglers. I assumed these were going to be the typical crispy fried onions that come out of a bag, but they were actually little onion rings that had clearly been freshly made. They were great.

At first I was thinking that the price was a bit much — it’s about $7.50 with tax for the burger alone — but then I ate it, and yeah. It’s worth the money. It was good. Not just good for fast food, but good, period.

I should note that the Wendy’s I went to was staffed entirely by adults who seemed to know what they were doing. It was obvious that all of the components were relatively fresh, and it was assembled with care. But it could have just as easily been thrown together by a bored teenager, so as is always the case with fast food, your mileage may vary.