Egg BLT Bagel at McDonald’s

McDonald'sLocation: 4333 Bloor Street West, Etobicoke
Websitehttps://www.mcdonalds.ca

I like McDonald’s.  The place tends to get a bad rap, but if you’re craving something junky and quick, it (usually) hits the spot.  I’m sure a childhood’s worth of nostalgia helps, but there’s always going to be a place in my life for the occasional visit to the Golden Arches.

That being said, the Egg BLT Bagel was super duper gross and you should absolutely never eat it.

I got it on a plain bagel, which was overly sweet and substantial.  The egg was dry and overcooked, the bacon was paper-thin and soggy, the lettuce was so stingy that it may as well not have even been there, and the mayo overload meant it was impossible to eat without making a greasy mess.  There just wasn’t a whole lot of flavour here, other than the sweetness from the bagel.

The tomato was okay, though, so… hooray for that, I guess?

Blueberry Glazed Doughnuts at Krispy Kreme

Krispy KremeLocation: 5920 Mavis Road, Mississauga
Websitehttp://www.krispykreme.ca/

Though I find the vast majority of their doughnuts to be throat-burningly sweet, I really like the plain glazed doughnuts from Krispy Kreme.  Maybe it’s just a nostalgia thing — my family used to take annual trips to Florida, and while we were there, hot Krispy Kreme doughnuts were a regular occurrence.

There’s nothing subtle about a glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut.  It’s basically just fried sugar; it’s a light, fluffy amalgam of pastry and sickly-sweet glaze that almost melts in your mouth as soon as you begin to chew it.  It’s great.

Krispy Kreme

For a limited time (the promotion ends tomorrow, so hurry up if you want to give it a shot) Krispy Kreme is selling blueberry glazed doughnuts.  Aside from a few dark flecks on the surface of the doughnut, it looks exactly like the standard version (it doesn’t even remotely have the day-glo blue of the promotional photos).

It’s quite tasty, but then it’s just a standard Krispy Kreme doughnut with a slightly tart, fruity flavour.  It didn’t quite have the punch of blueberry flavour that I was hoping for, but it’s still quite tasty.

Mediocre Pizza at Papa John’s

Papa John'sLocation: 1706 Dundas Street East, Mississauga
Websitehttp://www.papajohns.ca/

Papa John’s seems to be slowly but surely expanding around Toronto; I guess they must be doing okay, because they opened their first location a few years ago, and they’re still opening new ones.

I have fond memories of eating Papa John’s during my childhood trips to Florida, so I guess there’s always going to be a nostalgia-fueled spot in my heart for the place.  Because the pizza from Papa John’s was pretty bad, but I still kind of enjoyed it.

Papa John's

The crust is tasteless and vaguely gummy, the cheese is rubbery, and the toppings are mostly what you’d expect (except for the sausage — I can’t even sugar-coat that one, the sausage is flat-out gross).  But there’s still something inexplicably appealing about it.  It’s junk, and yet you find yourself compelled to take another slice.

There’s that old saying about how even when pizza is bad, it’s still pretty good.  That’s Papa John’s in a nutshell: it’s bad, but… it’s also kinda good?

Papa John's

This definitely also applies to the dipping sauce, which is basically just a tiny tub of garlic-powder-flavoured grease.  I enjoyed it in the same way that I enjoyed the pizza: with a furrowed brow and a not-insubstantial hit to my self-respect.

McFlurry Deliciousness at McDonald’s

McDonald'sLocation: 6170 Bathurst Street, Toronto
Websitehttps://www.mcdonalds.ca/

Generally speaking, I think McFlurries are a waste of time.  I mean, they’re just a poor man’s Blizzard, right?  If I’m craving a blended ice cream treat, why get an imitation when I can have the original?

It turns out I might be wrong about this, because I just had the Butterscotch Blondie McFlurry, and it was easily better than any Blizzard I’ve had in recent memory.

McDonald's

It had a really rich caramel flavour from the abundant butterscotch, and the sizable blondie chunks were chewy, tasty, and satisfying.  It’s super sweet, obviously, but there was enough going on here that it didn’t feel one-note.

The ice cream was a little too melty, but aside from that?  Shockingly good.

Waffle Double Down at KFC

Waffle Double Down at KFC

As ridiculous as the Waffle Double Down looks (and yeah, it is ridiculous), it’s basically just an oddball presentation of chicken and waffles.  And everybody loves chicken and waffles.  So it follows that this thing must be pretty good too, right?

Right?

Well… it’s not awful, I’ll give it that.

The Waffle Double Down is actually pretty simple: it’s two fried chicken patties encasing a Belgian waffle with maple aioli.

Waffle Double Down at KFC

I sort of figured that the aioli would be subtly sweet, but I think it might actually be sweeter than just plain maple syrup.  As soon as I unwrapped the sandwich (assuming that this thing even qualifies as a sandwich, which is questionable), the maple aroma hit me in the face like a ton of bricks.

And that was one of the main issues: the sandwich is way, way too sweet.  I like the combo of sweet and salty, and I quite like chicken and waffles, but this is leaning way too hard in the direction of in-your-face sweetness.  It’s almost dessert.

The other issue is the chicken itself.  You can get it regular or spicy; I went with spicy, because if someone asks you if you want something spicy, the correct answer is always yes.  And it’s not bad — the exterior was crispy and tasty, with a decent kick.  But the chicken was overcooked and dry, and since there’s so much of it, that’s an issue.  I had to constantly chug water between bites just to keep my mouth from completely drying out.

Waffle Double Down at KFC

The waffle was exactly what you’d think it would be.  If you’ve ever had prepackaged Belgian waffles, then you know what you’re getting.  It’s fine.

I actually wish that they’d drop the gimmick and just make this a regular waffle sandwich.  Because as it is, there’s an absurd amount dry chicken and not enough waffle.  The proportion is off.  It doesn’t taste right.

Oh, and this thing cost about $10.50 with tax, which is crazypants.  It is absolutely not worth that much money.