Location: 1 Bass Pro Mills Drive, Vaughan (inside Vaughan Mills)
Website: https://www.olivegarden.ca/

Olive Garden left Ontario well over twenty years ago, and clearly there’s a lot of nostalgia for the place; they opened recently at Vaughan Mills, and the waits are reportedly up to two hours long.

Note: I am not immune to this nostalgia.  I certainly remembered liking Olive Garden back in the day, and I was pretty excited for its return.  I showed up on a Saturday just after they opened at 11:00am, and even at that hour, there was about a twenty minute wait for a table.

The menu consists mostly of a variety of pastas.  I went with the Tour of Italy: “Three OG classics all on one plate! Chicken Parmigiana, Lasagna Classico and our signature Fettuccine Alfredo; all with homemade sauces made fresh every morning.”  Go big or go home, right?

Famously, all of their entrees come with an unlimited serving of soup or salad and breadsticks.  My dining companion and I both went with the salad, and they brought a giant bowl that you can serve yourself from.

The salad is a pretty standard iceberg / cabbage / carrot mix topped with onions, a few tomato slices, a bunch of croutons, and, if you want, freshly grated cheese.  The dressing is something along the lines of Kraft Italian.  It’s exactly what you think it’s going to be.  It’s pleasant.

The breadsticks are extremely Wonder-Bread-esque, but they’re served warm and taste fresh; they’re pleasantly greasy and mildly garlicky.  In retrospect, these were the highlight of the meal.

As for the entree, all three items were about on par with something you can get in the freezer section of the supermarket for a couple of bucks.  Very Michelina-coded, as the kids might say.

The chicken parmigiana was nice and crunchy at least, even if it was so overcooked that when I struggled to cut into one of the edges, I assumed I had hit a bone (it’s boneless).

The fettuccini alfredo was just blandly rich, though if you combine it with the intensely salty chicken parmigiana, they kinda cancel each other out.

The lasagna was maybe the most Michelina of the bunch, with a mushy texture and a deluge of middling sauce that tasted extremely jarred.

I should note that I’m coming off quite negative here, but I didn’t hate it, I guess?  I mean, I finished the plate, so clearly it wasn’t too offensive.  If this had been like twenty bucks (max), I wouldn’t have been mad about it.  But $31.29 (!) is an upsetting amount to pay for this caliber of food.  Yes, I ordered the dish that comes with multiple items, but all the pastas here range from the mid 20s to early 30s.

If all you’re after is quantity over quality, you’ll get much better bang for your buck at a buffet (RIP Frankie Tomatto’s — forever in my heart).